Cupid Is A Drunkard

by Philip Jeays

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04:17
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04:58

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released September 12, 2013

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Track Name: Little Philip
I see your little Philip now
He's tall and short with black fair hair
His deep brown blue eyes shine so bright
He skips through fields without a care
He's better since his accident
The limbs he lost have all grown back
He plays piano in a jazz quintet
With Jesus playing tenor sax

Well I wonder if you've ever stopped
To think of what you do
Or how you'd feel if it was you
Or why this happy medium
Is disinclined to tell
I see your little Philip burn in hell

I see your little Philip now
He says he's happy as can be
He sings all day out in the sun
And never needs the lavatory
He says he's glad for all you've done
He thanks you all for all you did
He says he's happy that you've come
And all for only thirty quid

Well I wonder if you've ever stopped
To think of what you do
Or how you'd feel if it was you
Or why this happy medium
Is disinclined to tell
I see your little Philip burn in hell

I see your little Philip now
He's standing here but wait what's this
He laughs at all that you believe
He spits on God and mocks the police
He can't believe how dumb you are
He flicks two fingers at you all
Oh what the hell who gives a toss
It's not your Philip after all

But Father doesn't give a damn
Just who the fucking hell I am
'Cause we talk much more since I've been dead
And Mother thinks it's very nice
Her little boy's in paradise
And not the other place instead
And my brother wants to know who'll win
The 3.15 at Kempton Park
And second and third if you please
And Grandma wrings her hands and says
He should've taken me instead
And how quickly everyone agrees

Well I wonder if you've ever stopped
To think of what you do
Or how you'd feel if it was you
Or why this happy medium
Is disinclined to tell
I see your little Philip burn
I see your little Philip burn
I see your little Philip burn in hell
Track Name: The Great War
It was a great war the Great War
The greatest war there's ever been
It was a war to end all wars
It didn't but that's how it seemed
It was a great war the Great War
With the bodies and the blood
The shell holes the hell holes
The trenches and the mud
It was a great war the Great War
The last war where no-one dared
To question the orders
No-one knew or no-one cared

And you stand there with your poppies
As a tribute to the ones
Who gave their lives for nothing
For the fathers and the sons
Then next day you go out
And buy your kids toy guns
Well go on and why not
You've got to teach them while they're young

It was a great war the Great War
The greatest war we've ever seen
We killed their side we killed our side
We killed anybody in between
It was a great war the Great War
Better still than Waterloo
Better yet than Agincourt
Better still than World War Two
It was a great war the Great War
The greatest chance we ever got
To die for our country
Or if not then to be shot

And you stand there in your silence
Just like we used to do
Like you were waiting for their whistle
For their orders to come through
Oh can't you see you're still doing
Just what they tell you to
Remember what they did to us
They could do to you

In a great war like the Great War
The greatest war we've ever known
We took simple fields made them hell on earth
Turned a million men to stone
But it was a great war the Great War
It was not our duty to survive
We weren't idiots we were patriots
Come on boys keep the myth alive
It was a great war the Great War
But you led us up the garden path
And still you lead us every year
Up to the Cenotaph

And you stand there politicians
Wiping tears from your eyes
With the hands that shake the hands
Of the dictators you supply
Well I cannot see the honour
Nor the glory nor the pride
And I will not wear your poppy
And I will not stand silent by
Track Name: Terry's Dog
Now Terry is as blind as blind as blind can be
But still he hopes he might be cured by God's divinity
And though we try to tell him not to hope too much
And that these Gods are very old and may have lost their touch
Still every now and then we take him down to Lourdes
Where they hang up all the crutches of the people they have cured
And though they haven't helped him yet he says that one day if they do
There in God's trophy cabinet he'll hang his guide dog too

But Terry's dog is smiling
He must know something we don't know
Oh yes Terry's dog is smiling
But he doesn't let it show
Though sometimes late at night he
Sounds just like he might be
Taking the piss
Is that dog barking or laughing?

Now Terry himself would be the first to confess
That he's rather partial to the sins of the flesh
And though we try to tell him that he might find
That's the very reason why he first went blind
Still we take him down the brothel and let him have a bash
We tell him that she's beautiful well why waste all his cash
But Terry dreams of loving a woman other than a whore
She'll lead him on so sweetly till he can show that dog the door

But Terry's dog is smiling
He must know something we don't know
Oh yes Terry's dog is smiling
But he doesn't let it show
Though sometimes late at night he
Sounds just like he might be
Taking the piss
Is that dog barking or laughing?

Though Terry's not religious of Bacchus he's a fan
He likes to get completely pissed as often as he can
And though we try to tell him it's not very fair
Being blind to get blind drunk he's always half way there
Still every night we take him round the cafes and the bars
We sit there softly dreaming of a world that could be ours
A world where everybody's blind to the differences within
All races and religions and the colour of their skin

But Terry's dog is smiling
He must know something we don't know
Oh yes Terry's dog is smiling
But he doesn't let it show
Though sometimes late at night he
Sounds just like he might be
Taking the piss
Is that dog barking or laughing?
Track Name: Arles
On the bridge stands a lover who stares at the river
And waits for the other half of his dream,
He's been waiting so long his clothes are in rags
And he carries his world in two plastic bags
Just in case she should come, and he wasn't there
For her diamond tongue and her waterfall hair,
Though these poor backstreets are alive with girls favours
And American icons and thirty-two flavours
Of the stench of greed and despair,
But the only stars and stripes you'll see here
Are the stars in tarts eyes and the stripes on the sleeves
Of a sailor who laughs in her face as he leaves.

Arles, I remember you well,
The days were long
And the nights were still,
In this old hotel,
Where Igor dressed for the bulls.

And down by the Rhone, where the poor children skim
Their stones at the waves that wash out and wash in,
A father seeks work while a mother seeks him,
As the girls sit and wait for their ships to come in;
There's a girl in the corner, her dress off her shoulder,
Laughs like she's young though she looks much older,
And tracing the lines that her life won't forgive her,
She purses her lips into the cracked mirror
And paints her face, like a mural on a slum,
But who will wake there when morning has come
Is anyone's guess, as she drinks up her drink,
Then pours out another and tries not to think.

Arles, I remember you well,
The days were long
And the nights were still,
In this old hotel,
Where Igor left for the bulls.

And the drunks are drinking their lives and they're thinking
Of ways of sinking the desperate cargo
Of their amorous flies into one of those bitches
Who talk like lavender but think like ditches,
But I leave them behind me and walk down to the kitchens
Where Isabelle looks so tired but so pretty,
And the old men shout 'begone with you boy,
Or sing us a song of when we were young',
So I sit on a wall by the banks of the Rhone
Where the drunks and drunkesses all make their homes,
These cold pavement sailors who drown on dry land,
They sleep where they fall and they piss where they stand,
While Dragoslov sits at the end of the bar,
Cursing his luck, or cursing the Tzar,
And how Russia will never see his like again.

Arles, I remember you well,
The days were long
And the nights were still,
Falling in love with Isabelle,
As Igor moved in for the kill.
Track Name: Don't Walk Away
The snow falls crumbling the sky
On the pavement and on you and I
As we sit here struggling to say goodbye
And though we search for words
Anyone can see
Our tired and tearful eyes
Are blind as they can be
But you know sometimes
These things are meant to be
And sometimes tears can heal the scars
That only they can see

And I'm sitting in this car park
Watching as you go
Your bag across your shoulder
Heavy through the snow
The sound of two hearts breaking
And no-one seems to know
And no-one hears the silent scream
That follows as you go

Don't walk away with those tears in your eyes
Don't walk away how can I say I'm sorry
Though I know I have to let you go
Don't walk away
Don't walk away
Don't walk away

The snow falls covering the town
Like the rain falls but rain dressed as a clown
A white face to hide the tears falling down
And as you walk away
You turn and wave goodbye
And though you try to smile
Your eyes cannot deny
The way your heart
Is breaking up inside
Then suddenly you're gone from me
In the crowd of passers-by

And I'm sitting in this car park
Now that you are gone
Wondering just what I've lost
Where it all went wrong
And wondering if all I've gained
Are the lyrics to a song
And even though the music's stopped
Why the tune still lingers on

Don't walk away with those tears in your eyes
Don't walk away how can I say I'm sorry
Though I know I have to let you go
Don't walk away
Don't walk away
Don't walk away
Track Name: The Laughing Song
Mother drinks and mother smokes
She's been killing herself for years
Laughing at their awful jokes
Now when she laughs you can hear the tears
Ha ha ha....

Grandad shelters on the floor
Playing with his sticky buns
Come in but don't slam the door
Grandad can still hear the guns
Ha ha ha....

The au pair is a foreign girl
Whose hair is blonde and eyes are blue
Father likes to make her laugh
But she doesn't laugh like me and you
Ha ha ha...

But the only one who really laughs
Is the leader of the band
See him waiting in the wings
With the sickle and the sand
He laughs all the way
From Moscow to the Rio Grande
The Rio Grande
He watches as your bones grow brittle
He watches as little by little
Your mouths grow thick with spittle
To spit on a few simple dreams of your children
He watches as you grow old
He watches as the years unfold
He watches from the hall
He laughs at us all
Ha ha ha...

My uncle is a military man
Who holds a gun and rides a horse
He likes to be miserable when he can
But if he laughs he laughs in morse
Ha ha ha...

My sister's nearly seventeen
She's much too old to think of fun
She's practising to be a wife
So she's cut her laughs down to one
Ha

My Auntie starved her son to death
To better drive his demons out
She locked him underneath the stairs
Saying when he's cleansed God will let him out
Ha ha ha...

My brother spent six months in jail
That he might better find a job
He went in for a parking fine
He came out driving for the mob
Ha ha ha...

But the only one who really laughs
Is the leader of the band
See him waiting in the wings
With the sickle and the sand
He laughs all the way
From Moscow to the Rio Grande
The Rio Grande
He watches as your bones grow brittle
He watches as little by little
Your mouths grow thick with spittle
To spit on a few simple dreams of your children
He watches as you grow old
He watches as the years unfold
He watches from the hall
He laughs at us all
Ha ha ha...
Track Name: The Eyes Of The Thief
I can still see the smile in the eyes of the thief
Who stole every heart of every girl in our school
He was captain of this, headboy of that
While I was always playing the fool
But what's wrong with a fool, they never explained
They just barked their orders to 'do as I say'
The Empire wasn't dead, no, it was just laying low
Alive and well in our classrooms each day
On Sundays we walked two by two to the church
Where we gave our 2ps to the glory of God
And then sat and yawned, or pulled faces and laughed
Or prayed that Satan would make the vicar shut up

Ah those were the days, between trust and deceit
When I first joined the ranks of the lost and confused
When they first sat me down and taught me by heart
All the things that I've never used
And those were the days of dormitory nights
And matrons in blue and blankets in red
Where the fledgling dreams of train drivers became
The dreams of train spotters instead
Ah but those were the days of the great Graham Dann
A goalkeeping legend, the pick of the crop
We took to the field Saturday afternoons
When our every game was England's World Cup

We lost eighteen-nil, but still what the hell
If I learnt nothing else I learnt how to lose
And I learnt how to laugh which was just as well
For when I learnt that beggars don't choose
I stared at Suzanne, all throughout French
Through English and German and Latin and Greek
She spoke with her eyes, and though I didn't know what
It was a language I wanted to speak
Ah but love is a dream that frays at the edge
And the harder you pull the more it unwinds
And the more it unwinds the harder you pull
Just to try to make up for lost time

I can still see the smile in the eyes of the thief
Who stole every heart of every girl in our school
Now he works in a bank, he's married with kids
And me, I'm still playing the fool
Track Name: Cupid Is A Drunkard (jazz version)
Here comes the groom
With his youth in full bloom
Going over the top
And though people see
Distant artillery
No-one dares say stop
And in the vestry
Drinking whisky
Cupid's feeling odd
For love should dress
In happiness
Not in the ties of God

Now Cupid is a drunkard
And it doesn't help his aim
When it comes to my lovers
But I know he's not to blame
For is it any wonder
When he sees the care men take
That Cupid is a drunkard
And women have to fake

Now here comes the bride
All fat and wide
Just like the old song says
She's armed to the teeth
With a ring and a wreath
And a bullet that says yes
And in the vestry
Drinking whisky
Cupid feels his age
For love should be
Wild and free
Not wedlocked in a cage

Now Cupid is a drunkard
And it doesn't help his aim
When it comes to my lovers
But I know he's not to blame
For is it any wonder
When he sees how women cheat
That Cupid is a drunkard
And men kerb crawl the streets

Now here comes the vicar
Bleating love is forever
With a smile ten tablets wide
And if he's contented
It's because he's invented
His own bit on the side
And in the vestry
Drinking whisky
Cupid's feeling sick
For lasting love
Is hard enough
Without religion's stick

Now Cupid is a drunkard
And it doesn't help his aim
When it comes to my lovers
But I know he's not to blame
For is it any wonder
When he sees love certified
That Cupid is a drunkard
And his arrows so often fly wide.
Track Name: In My Long Grey Coat
In my long grey coat I'll come
Wrapped tight against the wind
At first just a distant blur
But sharper with each step
Walking in the light
Of a January day
In my long grey coat I'll come
Like ashes in the wind

I will be a little old
I will be a little grey
A little tired a little worn
For a child of my age
I will stand outside your door
I will kick it open wide
My silhouette against the sun
I will step inside

And I will say it's me
Don't turn away
I've come back again
And you will look at me
The way that you did then
And I will say I know
I walked away
I was wrong
Sixteen years
I've been gone
I made mistakes
But I love you still

In my long grey coat I'll come
Wrapped around me like a sail
Drifting back to shore
Down these narrow streets
I'll tell you stories of my life
The journeys I have made
How I once took to the stage
And the demons in my head

I will be a little rough
I will be a little proud
Too proud to turn and face
The whispers and the stares
I will stand outside your door
I will kick it open wide
My silhouette against the sun
I will step inside

And I will say it's me
Don't turn away
I've come back again
And you will look at me
The way that you did then
And I will say I know
I walked away
I was wrong
Sixteen years
I've been gone
I made mistakes
But I love you still
Can you forgive
Can you forget
Does that flame
Still flicker yet
And can you say
You love me still

In my long grey coat I'll come
My heart beating like a drum
To stand outside your door
To hear that voice that voice
That voice that says
There's no-one here anymore
Track Name: The Man From Del Monte (He Say Yes)
Even if one day I go straight to number one
Miming to a song I've never even sung
Even if one day my management suggest
A tragic early death might be for the best
Even if one day standing round my grave
People drink champagne whilst their children misbehave

Ah my youth I'll still remember you
You who promised you never would
End up singing American
With a real plastic leather jacket attitude
And even if I should go
From town to town from show to show
With a hundred heavies all in tow to mind me
Even if the women lust
With panting lips and heaving bust
Till my songs are just a memory behind me
Even if my video
Should tell the kids to just say no
Then back stage after every show you find me
Sitting there quite happily
Taking all they offer me
Losing all my dignity
Even if one day I be
The Man from Del Monte

And even if one day I think that just because I'm me
I can wallow in a mire of mediocrity
Even if one day I sing shooby dooby do
Doowop doowop doowop hey dibby dobby do
Even if one day my nightmare is all mine
As a man in Luxembourg says deux points Grande Bretagne

Ah my youth I'll still remember you
You who promised you never would
End up farting on Eurovision
As only a real arsehole could
And even if I lose it all
A has-been before I've been at all
A singer all the critics call engaging
Even if I spend my life
Queuing up to have my wife
And just a surgeon's knife away from ageing
Even if not anyone
Can hum a single song I've sung
And my come back concerts one by one are failing
Still I'll take all they offer me
Anything for any fee
ITV or BBC
Even if they do call me
The Man from Del Monte

And even if one day I believe God the Son
Or maybe the God the Father or God... the other one
Even if one day my mind becomes so weak
I have to dribble prayers seven days a week
Even if one day I think that just because I'm old
People should respect me and do just as they're told

Ah my youth I'll still remember you
You who promised you never would
End up singing on Songs of Praise
For the Almighty Blue Rinse Sisterhood
And even if one fateful night
In a blur of flashing light
The angels come all dressed in white to take me
Even when they take my arm
And lead me through that veil of calm
Then put me on that funny farm and leave me
Even in my padded cell
Yes even there they'll know full well
That though they beg I'll never tell my secret
Though they think that I may be
Just as mad as I can be
Well let me tell you honestly
I'm not the man they think they see
I am the man from Del Monte
Track Name: Richenda
Forgive me Richenda I'm horribly drunk
But you are the harbour where my ships have all sunk
Your cannons have left me all battered and bruised
Though I've give you all of the shots you have used

But the day isn't over there's time to forgive me
It's only four in the morning but your phone just keeps ringing
And I love you Richenda more than anything
Though you smile like Brutus at Caeser in spring

Come over Richenda there's some old friends to see
There's my packet of Gauloises and Tom Waits and me
My Gauloises are smoking and Tom he's playing a tune
And we've all been drinking since late afternoon

But the day isn't over there's time to forgive me
It's only five in the morning but your phone just keeps ringing
And I love you Richenda more than anything
Though you smile like Brutus at Caeser in spring

So it's over Richenda you've cut like a knife
But Gemini women been the curse of my life
Now I'm drowning the hole where my heart used to be
Now it's out on the outside and there's blood on my sleeve

But the day isn't over there's time to forgive me
It's only half five in the morning come on and pick up the phone
And I love you Richenda more than anything
Though you smile like Brutus at Caeser in spring
Track Name: Here I Am
I am here with these tears on my face
I am here back in this old familiar place
I can see myself as a child again
I am running down this corridor to you
And there you are the first girl I ever loved
You Juliette and me so far from Romeo
And how now like so many grains of sand
Our lives are scattered on winds of long ago
And here I am here I am

I have seen magic I have seen the flowers bloom in May
I have seen rainbows born of sudden suns and April rains
I have seen moonlight steal an ocean wide
And watched the colours of daytimes as they died
I have known of death I have seen a mothers loss
I have walked and wondered and wished and thought
On all the wishes I have wished and lost
A galaxy that started as a star
Baby Blue I don't know where you are
But here I am here I am here I am

I have seen my youth cut clear as the certainty of glass
Disappear in these lines upon my face
These years rage like flames through my wooded blood
My bones bound with forget-me-nots and thyme
I have known angels and harlots love devils just the same
Their salmon hearts caught on flesh hooks ripe with teeming bait
I drank their eyes and gave my guts without temperance or care
I have loved I have lost I have cut my arms
And here I am here I am here I am

I have seen wonders I have seen the seasons change
I have known madness I have been broken I have lost my mind
I have touched the face of death and walked away in time
I have fallen in love and turned and turned again and here I am
Maybe a sinner or more a blackened priest
Caught between this light and dark this Angle turn this Norman fold
This Saxon crease this life this time this hope this death
That creeps on me like silver in my sleep
And here I am here I am here I am

And still some days in this fast and fading grey
Still some days when my senses drift away
Some days still on a scent or sight or sound
Some days I just turn around
And I am here with these tears on my face
I am here back in this old familiar place
I can see myself as a child again
I am running down this corridor to you
And here I am here I am here I am