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Cupid Is A Drunkard

by Philip Jeays

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1.
I see your little Philip now He's tall and short with black fair hair His deep brown blue eyes shine so bright He skips through fields without a care He's better since his accident The limbs he lost have all grown back He plays piano in a jazz quintet With Jesus playing tenor sax Well I wonder if you've ever stopped To think of what you do Or how you'd feel if it was you Or why this happy medium Is disinclined to tell I see your little Philip burn in hell I see your little Philip now He says he's happy as can be He sings all day out in the sun And never needs the lavatory He says he's glad for all you've done He thanks you all for all you did He says he's happy that you've come And all for only thirty quid Well I wonder if you've ever stopped To think of what you do Or how you'd feel if it was you Or why this happy medium Is disinclined to tell I see your little Philip burn in hell I see your little Philip now He's standing here but wait what's this He laughs at all that you believe He spits on God and mocks the police He can't believe how dumb you are He flicks two fingers at you all Oh what the hell who gives a toss It's not your Philip after all But Father doesn't give a damn Just who the fucking hell I am 'Cause we talk much more since I've been dead And Mother thinks it's very nice Her little boy's in paradise And not the other place instead And my brother wants to know who'll win The 3.15 at Kempton Park And second and third if you please And Grandma wrings her hands and says He should've taken me instead And how quickly everyone agrees Well I wonder if you've ever stopped To think of what you do Or how you'd feel if it was you Or why this happy medium Is disinclined to tell I see your little Philip burn I see your little Philip burn I see your little Philip burn in hell
2.
It was a great war the Great War The greatest war there's ever been It was a war to end all wars It didn't but that's how it seemed It was a great war the Great War With the bodies and the blood The shell holes the hell holes The trenches and the mud It was a great war the Great War The last war where no-one dared To question the orders No-one knew or no-one cared And you stand there with your poppies As a tribute to the ones Who gave their lives for nothing For the fathers and the sons Then next day you go out And buy your kids toy guns Well go on and why not You've got to teach them while they're young It was a great war the Great War The greatest war we've ever seen We killed their side we killed our side We killed anybody in between It was a great war the Great War Better still than Waterloo Better yet than Agincourt Better still than World War Two It was a great war the Great War The greatest chance we ever got To die for our country Or if not then to be shot And you stand there in your silence Just like we used to do Like you were waiting for their whistle For their orders to come through Oh can't you see you're still doing Just what they tell you to Remember what they did to us They could do to you In a great war like the Great War The greatest war we've ever known We took simple fields made them hell on earth Turned a million men to stone But it was a great war the Great War It was not our duty to survive We weren't idiots we were patriots Come on boys keep the myth alive It was a great war the Great War But you led us up the garden path And still you lead us every year Up to the Cenotaph And you stand there politicians Wiping tears from your eyes With the hands that shake the hands Of the dictators you supply Well I cannot see the honour Nor the glory nor the pride And I will not wear your poppy And I will not stand silent by
3.
Terry's Dog 03:54
Now Terry is as blind as blind as blind can be But still he hopes he might be cured by God's divinity And though we try to tell him not to hope too much And that these Gods are very old and may have lost their touch Still every now and then we take him down to Lourdes Where they hang up all the crutches of the people they have cured And though they haven't helped him yet he says that one day if they do There in God's trophy cabinet he'll hang his guide dog too But Terry's dog is smiling He must know something we don't know Oh yes Terry's dog is smiling But he doesn't let it show Though sometimes late at night he Sounds just like he might be Taking the piss Is that dog barking or laughing? Now Terry himself would be the first to confess That he's rather partial to the sins of the flesh And though we try to tell him that he might find That's the very reason why he first went blind Still we take him down the brothel and let him have a bash We tell him that she's beautiful well why waste all his cash But Terry dreams of loving a woman other than a whore She'll lead him on so sweetly till he can show that dog the door But Terry's dog is smiling He must know something we don't know Oh yes Terry's dog is smiling But he doesn't let it show Though sometimes late at night he Sounds just like he might be Taking the piss Is that dog barking or laughing? Though Terry's not religious of Bacchus he's a fan He likes to get completely pissed as often as he can And though we try to tell him it's not very fair Being blind to get blind drunk he's always half way there Still every night we take him round the cafes and the bars We sit there softly dreaming of a world that could be ours A world where everybody's blind to the differences within All races and religions and the colour of their skin But Terry's dog is smiling He must know something we don't know Oh yes Terry's dog is smiling But he doesn't let it show Though sometimes late at night he Sounds just like he might be Taking the piss Is that dog barking or laughing?
4.
Arles 04:15
On the bridge stands a lover who stares at the river And waits for the other half of his dream, He's been waiting so long his clothes are in rags And he carries his world in two plastic bags Just in case she should come, and he wasn't there For her diamond tongue and her waterfall hair, Though these poor backstreets are alive with girls favours And American icons and thirty-two flavours Of the stench of greed and despair, But the only stars and stripes you'll see here Are the stars in tarts eyes and the stripes on the sleeves Of a sailor who laughs in her face as he leaves. Arles, I remember you well, The days were long And the nights were still, In this old hotel, Where Igor dressed for the bulls. And down by the Rhone, where the poor children skim Their stones at the waves that wash out and wash in, A father seeks work while a mother seeks him, As the girls sit and wait for their ships to come in; There's a girl in the corner, her dress off her shoulder, Laughs like she's young though she looks much older, And tracing the lines that her life won't forgive her, She purses her lips into the cracked mirror And paints her face, like a mural on a slum, But who will wake there when morning has come Is anyone's guess, as she drinks up her drink, Then pours out another and tries not to think. Arles, I remember you well, The days were long And the nights were still, In this old hotel, Where Igor left for the bulls. And the drunks are drinking their lives and they're thinking Of ways of sinking the desperate cargo Of their amorous flies into one of those bitches Who talk like lavender but think like ditches, But I leave them behind me and walk down to the kitchens Where Isabelle looks so tired but so pretty, And the old men shout 'begone with you boy, Or sing us a song of when we were young', So I sit on a wall by the banks of the Rhone Where the drunks and drunkesses all make their homes, These cold pavement sailors who drown on dry land, They sleep where they fall and they piss where they stand, While Dragoslov sits at the end of the bar, Cursing his luck, or cursing the Tzar, And how Russia will never see his like again. Arles, I remember you well, The days were long And the nights were still, Falling in love with Isabelle, As Igor moved in for the kill.
5.
The snow falls crumbling the sky On the pavement and on you and I As we sit here struggling to say goodbye And though we search for words Anyone can see Our tired and tearful eyes Are blind as they can be But you know sometimes These things are meant to be And sometimes tears can heal the scars That only they can see And I'm sitting in this car park Watching as you go Your bag across your shoulder Heavy through the snow The sound of two hearts breaking And no-one seems to know And no-one hears the silent scream That follows as you go Don't walk away with those tears in your eyes Don't walk away how can I say I'm sorry Though I know I have to let you go Don't walk away Don't walk away Don't walk away The snow falls covering the town Like the rain falls but rain dressed as a clown A white face to hide the tears falling down And as you walk away You turn and wave goodbye And though you try to smile Your eyes cannot deny The way your heart Is breaking up inside Then suddenly you're gone from me In the crowd of passers-by And I'm sitting in this car park Now that you are gone Wondering just what I've lost Where it all went wrong And wondering if all I've gained Are the lyrics to a song And even though the music's stopped Why the tune still lingers on Don't walk away with those tears in your eyes Don't walk away how can I say I'm sorry Though I know I have to let you go Don't walk away Don't walk away Don't walk away
6.
Mother drinks and mother smokes She's been killing herself for years Laughing at their awful jokes Now when she laughs you can hear the tears Ha ha ha.... Grandad shelters on the floor Playing with his sticky buns Come in but don't slam the door Grandad can still hear the guns Ha ha ha.... The au pair is a foreign girl Whose hair is blonde and eyes are blue Father likes to make her laugh But she doesn't laugh like me and you Ha ha ha... But the only one who really laughs Is the leader of the band See him waiting in the wings With the sickle and the sand He laughs all the way From Moscow to the Rio Grande The Rio Grande He watches as your bones grow brittle He watches as little by little Your mouths grow thick with spittle To spit on a few simple dreams of your children He watches as you grow old He watches as the years unfold He watches from the hall He laughs at us all Ha ha ha... My uncle is a military man Who holds a gun and rides a horse He likes to be miserable when he can But if he laughs he laughs in morse Ha ha ha... My sister's nearly seventeen She's much too old to think of fun She's practising to be a wife So she's cut her laughs down to one Ha My Auntie starved her son to death To better drive his demons out She locked him underneath the stairs Saying when he's cleansed God will let him out Ha ha ha... My brother spent six months in jail That he might better find a job He went in for a parking fine He came out driving for the mob Ha ha ha... But the only one who really laughs Is the leader of the band See him waiting in the wings With the sickle and the sand He laughs all the way From Moscow to the Rio Grande The Rio Grande He watches as your bones grow brittle He watches as little by little Your mouths grow thick with spittle To spit on a few simple dreams of your children He watches as you grow old He watches as the years unfold He watches from the hall He laughs at us all Ha ha ha...
7.
I can still see the smile in the eyes of the thief Who stole every heart of every girl in our school He was captain of this, headboy of that While I was always playing the fool But what's wrong with a fool, they never explained They just barked their orders to 'do as I say' The Empire wasn't dead, no, it was just laying low Alive and well in our classrooms each day On Sundays we walked two by two to the church Where we gave our 2ps to the glory of God And then sat and yawned, or pulled faces and laughed Or prayed that Satan would make the vicar shut up Ah those were the days, between trust and deceit When I first joined the ranks of the lost and confused When they first sat me down and taught me by heart All the things that I've never used And those were the days of dormitory nights And matrons in blue and blankets in red Where the fledgling dreams of train drivers became The dreams of train spotters instead Ah but those were the days of the great Graham Dann A goalkeeping legend, the pick of the crop We took to the field Saturday afternoons When our every game was England's World Cup We lost eighteen-nil, but still what the hell If I learnt nothing else I learnt how to lose And I learnt how to laugh which was just as well For when I learnt that beggars don't choose I stared at Suzanne, all throughout French Through English and German and Latin and Greek She spoke with her eyes, and though I didn't know what It was a language I wanted to speak Ah but love is a dream that frays at the edge And the harder you pull the more it unwinds And the more it unwinds the harder you pull Just to try to make up for lost time I can still see the smile in the eyes of the thief Who stole every heart of every girl in our school Now he works in a bank, he's married with kids And me, I'm still playing the fool
8.
Here comes the groom With his youth in full bloom Going over the top And though people see Distant artillery No-one dares say stop And in the vestry Drinking whisky Cupid's feeling odd For love should dress In happiness Not in the ties of God Now Cupid is a drunkard And it doesn't help his aim When it comes to my lovers But I know he's not to blame For is it any wonder When he sees the care men take That Cupid is a drunkard And women have to fake Now here comes the bride All fat and wide Just like the old song says She's armed to the teeth With a ring and a wreath And a bullet that says yes And in the vestry Drinking whisky Cupid feels his age For love should be Wild and free Not wedlocked in a cage Now Cupid is a drunkard And it doesn't help his aim When it comes to my lovers But I know he's not to blame For is it any wonder When he sees how women cheat That Cupid is a drunkard And men kerb crawl the streets Now here comes the vicar Bleating love is forever With a smile ten tablets wide And if he's contented It's because he's invented His own bit on the side And in the vestry Drinking whisky Cupid's feeling sick For lasting love Is hard enough Without religion's stick Now Cupid is a drunkard And it doesn't help his aim When it comes to my lovers But I know he's not to blame For is it any wonder When he sees love certified That Cupid is a drunkard And his arrows so often fly wide.
9.
In my long grey coat I'll come Wrapped tight against the wind At first just a distant blur But sharper with each step Walking in the light Of a January day In my long grey coat I'll come Like ashes in the wind I will be a little old I will be a little grey A little tired a little worn For a child of my age I will stand outside your door I will kick it open wide My silhouette against the sun I will step inside And I will say it's me Don't turn away I've come back again And you will look at me The way that you did then And I will say I know I walked away I was wrong Sixteen years I've been gone I made mistakes But I love you still In my long grey coat I'll come Wrapped around me like a sail Drifting back to shore Down these narrow streets I'll tell you stories of my life The journeys I have made How I once took to the stage And the demons in my head I will be a little rough I will be a little proud Too proud to turn and face The whispers and the stares I will stand outside your door I will kick it open wide My silhouette against the sun I will step inside And I will say it's me Don't turn away I've come back again And you will look at me The way that you did then And I will say I know I walked away I was wrong Sixteen years I've been gone I made mistakes But I love you still Can you forgive Can you forget Does that flame Still flicker yet And can you say You love me still In my long grey coat I'll come My heart beating like a drum To stand outside your door To hear that voice that voice That voice that says There's no-one here anymore
10.
Even if one day I go straight to number one Miming to a song I've never even sung Even if one day my management suggest A tragic early death might be for the best Even if one day standing round my grave People drink champagne whilst their children misbehave Ah my youth I'll still remember you You who promised you never would End up singing American With a real plastic leather jacket attitude And even if I should go From town to town from show to show With a hundred heavies all in tow to mind me Even if the women lust With panting lips and heaving bust Till my songs are just a memory behind me Even if my video Should tell the kids to just say no Then back stage after every show you find me Sitting there quite happily Taking all they offer me Losing all my dignity Even if one day I be The Man from Del Monte And even if one day I think that just because I'm me I can wallow in a mire of mediocrity Even if one day I sing shooby dooby do Doowop doowop doowop hey dibby dobby do Even if one day my nightmare is all mine As a man in Luxembourg says deux points Grande Bretagne Ah my youth I'll still remember you You who promised you never would End up farting on Eurovision As only a real arsehole could And even if I lose it all A has-been before I've been at all A singer all the critics call engaging Even if I spend my life Queuing up to have my wife And just a surgeon's knife away from ageing Even if not anyone Can hum a single song I've sung And my come back concerts one by one are failing Still I'll take all they offer me Anything for any fee ITV or BBC Even if they do call me The Man from Del Monte And even if one day I believe God the Son Or maybe the God the Father or God... the other one Even if one day my mind becomes so weak I have to dribble prayers seven days a week Even if one day I think that just because I'm old People should respect me and do just as they're told Ah my youth I'll still remember you You who promised you never would End up singing on Songs of Praise For the Almighty Blue Rinse Sisterhood And even if one fateful night In a blur of flashing light The angels come all dressed in white to take me Even when they take my arm And lead me through that veil of calm Then put me on that funny farm and leave me Even in my padded cell Yes even there they'll know full well That though they beg I'll never tell my secret Though they think that I may be Just as mad as I can be Well let me tell you honestly I'm not the man they think they see I am the man from Del Monte
11.
Richenda 04:17
Forgive me Richenda I'm horribly drunk But you are the harbour where my ships have all sunk Your cannons have left me all battered and bruised Though I've give you all of the shots you have used But the day isn't over there's time to forgive me It's only four in the morning but your phone just keeps ringing And I love you Richenda more than anything Though you smile like Brutus at Caeser in spring Come over Richenda there's some old friends to see There's my packet of Gauloises and Tom Waits and me My Gauloises are smoking and Tom he's playing a tune And we've all been drinking since late afternoon But the day isn't over there's time to forgive me It's only five in the morning but your phone just keeps ringing And I love you Richenda more than anything Though you smile like Brutus at Caeser in spring So it's over Richenda you've cut like a knife But Gemini women been the curse of my life Now I'm drowning the hole where my heart used to be Now it's out on the outside and there's blood on my sleeve But the day isn't over there's time to forgive me It's only half five in the morning come on and pick up the phone And I love you Richenda more than anything Though you smile like Brutus at Caeser in spring
12.
Here I Am 04:58
I am here with these tears on my face I am here back in this old familiar place I can see myself as a child again I am running down this corridor to you And there you are the first girl I ever loved You Juliette and me so far from Romeo And how now like so many grains of sand Our lives are scattered on winds of long ago And here I am here I am I have seen magic I have seen the flowers bloom in May I have seen rainbows born of sudden suns and April rains I have seen moonlight steal an ocean wide And watched the colours of daytimes as they died I have known of death I have seen a mothers loss I have walked and wondered and wished and thought On all the wishes I have wished and lost A galaxy that started as a star Baby Blue I don't know where you are But here I am here I am here I am I have seen my youth cut clear as the certainty of glass Disappear in these lines upon my face These years rage like flames through my wooded blood My bones bound with forget-me-nots and thyme I have known angels and harlots love devils just the same Their salmon hearts caught on flesh hooks ripe with teeming bait I drank their eyes and gave my guts without temperance or care I have loved I have lost I have cut my arms And here I am here I am here I am I have seen wonders I have seen the seasons change I have known madness I have been broken I have lost my mind I have touched the face of death and walked away in time I have fallen in love and turned and turned again and here I am Maybe a sinner or more a blackened priest Caught between this light and dark this Angle turn this Norman fold This Saxon crease this life this time this hope this death That creeps on me like silver in my sleep And here I am here I am here I am And still some days in this fast and fading grey Still some days when my senses drift away Some days still on a scent or sight or sound Some days I just turn around And I am here with these tears on my face I am here back in this old familiar place I can see myself as a child again I am running down this corridor to you And here I am here I am here I am

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released January 1, 2000

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Philip Jeays Bognor Regis, UK

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