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My Own Way

by Philip Jeays

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1.
STILL THE SNOW FALLS Woods whisper like cathedrals Of Gods from days gone by With their gargoyles made of eagles And their rafters made of sky And the snow falls like lace On the shoulders and face Of a bride who waits to no avail And the hedgerows and lanes Run like mascara stains That stain her cheek beneath the frozen veil And people lose their way On paths that once they trod Some people turn to drinking Some people turn to God But the devil needs his shoes Makes no difference where he's shod Still the snow falls Still the snow falls Wind whips along the old dyke Smoke struggles from the stacks Cold trees twist their aching limbs like Lovers dipped in candlewax And the saints shed their blood In the windows of God And the drunks curse and sing the hours by And the snow breaks the fall Of the chimneys and walls As they fall up to meet the falling sky And lovers cling to strangers Like mourners in their grief 'I lost a child once' she says But he's already  gone to sleep Oh you can long for dying Makes no difference where you sleep Still the snow falls Still the snow falls And what did summer tell you That you didn't know before? That paths of glory crumble? That dreams are made of straw? Oh you were pretty once Makes no difference anymore Still the snow falls Still the snow falls
2.
The Wind 02:57
THE WIND Through the day and through the night Across the world the cold wind blows Pushing you towards the fight Where it comes from no-one knows No-one knows to where it goes It blows down from above Till men will hide in any love Till any love becomes enough Whistle in me, whistle in me Blowing failures long grown old Until their minds grow so cold They look for warmth in pots of gold Whistle in me, whistle in me Ah the wind it blows so strong It blows so loud it blows so long Mocking as it goes along Whistle in me, whistle in me Show your strength in guns and men Fight your bloody wars and then Swear you’ll never fight again Whistle in me, whistle in me Through the day and through the night Across the world the cold wind blows Pushing you towards the fight Where it comes from no-one knows No-one knows to where it goes It blows so strongly round Till men are glad to just lie down With any tiny love they’ve found Whistle in me, whistle in me With a bottle or a whore They try to shelter evermore On a bed or on the floor Whistle in me, whistle in me Ah the wind it blows so strong It blows so loud it blows so long Mocking as it goes along Whistle in me, whistle in me What if you choose to send All your food to starving men This time next year they’ll starve again Whistle in me, whistle in me Through the day and through the night Across the world the cold wind blows Pushing you towards the fight Where it comes from no-one knows No-one knows to where it goes It blows down through the trees It forces men onto their knees Before their social effigies Whistle in me, whistle in me On one knee they plight their troth Till marriage rots them like a growth Until in prayer they kneel on both Whistle in me, whistle in me Ah the wind it blows so strong It blows so loud it blows so long Mocking as it goes along Whistle in me, whistle in me Wash your hands in blood and tears Hate the blacks and kick the queers We’ve learnt a lot across the years Whistle in me, whistle in me
3.
Go Now 03:50
GO NOW Go now, while no-one sees you Leave before the dawn Come now, dry your tears Life will carry on And the world Will turn no slower for this That two people should miss A chance for love Oh if your parents might have been Been just a little bit more keen A bit more keen to make you flesh Or maybe mine a little less Then, but... Go now, while no-one sees you Leave before the sun See me all shades of fifty You barely twenty-one Can’t you see How this story must end What good now to pretend What cannot be You’ll find another hand to hold You’ll fall in love with someone new Someone more handsome and less old Someone a bit more worthy of you Go now, while no-one sees you Leave your dreams behind Don’t tell me that you love me Go before I change my mind And I see My whole world slip away Into the first light of day Into life without you Go now just go Before I beg you to stay Go before I can say I love you too
4.
WHEN CHILDREN ARE CHILDREN When children are children they play at war But children are childish it’s what childhood’s for But when children grow up how some of the fools Carry on living their wars against bulls Ah but why should I care When I’m not the one Being tortured to death For some stockbrokers fun But there’s something inside me So hates and despises The pleasure you take from the pain To think we’ve evolved for a million years Is this really all we have come to It’s not so much that you do it at all It’s more the fact that you want to When children are children they play at war But children are childish it’s what childhood’s for But when children grow up how some of them cling To watching men boxing their wars in the ring Ah but why should I care Life can’t be much fun If watching men fight In their pants turns you on But there’s something inside me So hates and despises The pleasure you take from the pain To think we’ve evolved for a million years Is this really all we have come to It’s not so much that you do it at all It’s more the fact that you want to When children are children they play at war But children are childish it’s what childhood’s for But when children grow up the retards and runts Carry on fighting with their local hunts Ah but why should I care For some mangey fur ball I wear leather boots And eat meat after all But there’s something inside me So hates and despises The pleasure you take from the pain And when I see you so smug I could beat you to hell And I know it’s the same race we belong to It’s not so much that I’d do it at all It’s more sometimes that I want to
5.
WISHING THEY WERE YOU The evening starts badly I know I am to blame She says her favourite colour’s silver I say ‘well Judas was the same’ Don’t know what to do Just spend my evenings sitting With other women wishing They were you Every night I tell them How you made my life a mess How you look like a heart attack In that little yellow dress Don’t know what to do Just spend my evenings sitting With other women wishing They were you I don’t want to see nobody If I can’t see you I don’t want to waste their time or mine But still I do it’s true I know the evening’s wasted Before I even know her name Doesn’t matter how it starts It always ends the same Don’t know what to do Just spend my evenings sitting With other women wishing They were you I don’t want to see nobody If I can’t see you I don’t want to waste their time But each night I do it’s true Then I walk home alone Shuffling with my dreams Blowing like yesterday’s Gossip magazines Don’t know what to do Just spend my evenings sitting With other women wishing They were you Ever since you left My future’s looking black Darling won’t you tell me Aren’t you ever coming back? For until you do I’ll spend my evenings sitting With other women wishing They were you
6.
My Own Way 04:39
MY OWN WAY I’m old enough to know my mind I’m over 21 I know the things that I don’t like And my idea of fun And I’m happy in the shadows I’m not hurting anyone But it just happens to be true I’m happy in my skin And although my happiness might Not be the greatest sin Some people don’t like people Who don’t like joining in So I say thanks for your directions Your guidance and corrections Your little interjections Your views and your reflections But I don’t care what you say Let the sheep come out to play You follow if you want to I’ll go my own way Now everybody knows a twat Who says they should cheer up But really is it your concern Whether I have a cup That is half full or half empty Why don’t you just shut up? And ask yourself if like that tree That falls down to the ground When there’s no-one there to hear it And might not make a sound Is everyone still miserable When you’re not around? So I say thanks for your directions Your guidance and corrections Your little interjections Your views and your reflections But I don’t care what you say No-one likes you anyway You babble if you want to I’ll go my own way I met a shiny headed man Who had a flag tattoo He said he loved his country and That I should love it too I said I’d love it even more Without the likes of you When they play God Save The Queen Well I choose not to rise I’m quite happy where I am I don’t need the exercise But there’s always someone there On hand to criticise So I say thanks for your directions Your guidance and corrections Your little interjections Your views and your reflections But I don’t care what you say Let the National Anthem play You stand if you want to I’ll go my own way I saw a group of Jesus’ friends Out preaching fire and hell They had their poor unfortunate Young children there as well Why must parents take their kids Along well let me tell Well it’s ’cause they were branded too When they were a kid And so now they brand their own Just like their parents did But let their children choose Their god? Ha! God forbid So I say thanks for your directions Your guidance and corrections Your little interjections Your views and your reflections But I don’t care what you say You can throw your life away On bullshit if you want to Let them go their own way Now there are choices there for those Who like to walk in step There’s the Army or the Navy Or there’s the RAF Or the Foreign Legion too if You just want to forget And if that is the life for you I wish you all the best But when the crowds are cheering Allow me to feel depressed When I remember Owen’s ‘Dulce et decorum est’ So I say thanks for your directions Your guidance and corrections Your little interjections Your views and your reflections But I don’t care what you say Stand stiff on Remembrance day Well you can if you want to I’ll go my own way So I don’t want to join your gang I don’t want to belong No I’m quite happy as I am Singing my little song And I’d like it even more if You didn’t sing along No I’ll let others sacrifice Their dignity for fame Or live life clinging on by The skin of daddy’s name It’s up to you what you do But I won’t play that game So I say thanks for your directions Your guidance and corrections Your little interjections Your views and your reflections But I don’t care what you say My buttocks won’t go on display You spread yours if you want to I’ll go my own way
7.
THE OLD WHITE BULL It’s Friday night and the boys are out Down at the Old White Bull We’re off the leash and loud and on the pull Tim’s been married seven years And now he’s got the itch He prances off like Nureyev But he hasn’t got the feet And pretty soon he’s back Sitting rejected in his seat And so we raise our glasses In a toast to his defeat With that song we always sing, boys, That song we always sing They’re all whores, they’re all whores Except for my mum and yours They’re all whores, they’re all whores From Thailand to the Azores They’re all whores, they’re all whores Without rhyme reason or cause They’re all whores, they’re all whores Except my mum and I’m not sure about yours... It’s half past nine and still no luck So I say I’ll have a go Though it’s not my strong point as you know I spot a little filly looking lonely at the bar... I think I’ll just approach her With a debonair hello But I haven’t left my seat yet And she already seems to know She sends the barman over With a note that just says ‘no’ Time to fill your lungs, boys, Time to fill your lungs They’re all whores, they’re all whores Except for my mum and yours They’re all whores, they’re all whores From Thailand to the Azores They’re all whores, they’re all whores Without rhyme reason or cause They’re all whores, they’re all whores Except my mum and I’m not sure about yours... So one by one we’re all shot down Till there’s only one chance left And our expectant eyes all turn to Geoff A lesbian converter with the sales figures to match We sit with baited breath As he gives the room a scan Then suddenly he’s off And we know he’ll have a plan Then he comes back triumphant but - He’s come back with a man Saying ‘you get it where you can boys You get it where you can.. And they’re all whores, they’re all whores Except for my dad and yours They’re all whores, they’re all whores From Thailand to the Azores They’re all whores, they’re all whores Without rhyme reason or cause We’re all whores, we’re all whores Except my dad - but why’s yours on all fours?
8.
NEWHAVEN HARBOUR Beyond the hulls of little boats That sit like corpses on the banks And flaking signs In this carpark here we sit In this carpark where we’ve sat So many times And through your tears I hear you say ‘I have to go Before it’s too late...’ And I, I remember seagulls Turned and cried above the harbour And how your fingers clenched and trembled And how I loved you even more But just a small love A brief adventure, nothing more So if they ask Newhaven Harbour Say we were never here at all Cranes lean together on the docks Like lovers lighting cigarettes Like you and I You say you’re going back to him You say you have to try again And though I smile Yet still I know You’ll live in me Like spots of blood Left on white sheets... And I, I remember nothing But your cheek stained by the sunlight Spilt by careless clouds across you And how I died a little then But just a small death And I’ve died so many times before So if they ask Newhaven Harbour Say we were never here at all Just pretend Newhaven Harbour We never fell in love at all
9.
FAIRGROUND RIDES Years pass, day by day Life is short, or so they say Yet still somehow we seem to find So much time to throw away And I have seen the people queue To taste their fear, to scream out loud Spinning wheels spinning dreams Spinning gold from mindless crowds And up and down and round and round Oh what a thrill how to decide Which way to turn, which one to choose Which waste of time, which fairground ride Oh but could you live without it Sometimes the days are hard to fill Oh what would you do without it Don’t we all want a little thrill And I have seen religious men They stand to sing, they kneel to pray And some of them, to make it work All have to face a certain way Then up and down and round and round Oh what a thrill how to decide Which way to turn, which god to choose Which waste of time, which fairground ride Oh but could you live without it Sometimes the days just never end Oh what would you do without it Don’t we all want to live again And I have seen our gilded youth The future of this land of kings On friday nights the drinks and fights Then later on behind the bins It’s up and down and round and round Oh what a thrill how to decide Which way to turn, which way to choose Which waste of time, which fairground ride Oh but could you live without it Sometimes the days go on and on Oh what would you do without it Don’t we all want to be James Bond Oh how could we live without them The mindless thrills of wasted hours Oh where would we be without them Our gods that sit like plastic flowers Oh what would we do without them How would we fill the gap inside Oh where would we be without them The simple dreams of fairground rides
10.
THE GLORIOUS DEAD Those who killed by their bare hand No solemn duty to fulfil Not for their king nor for their land But for the pleasure of the kill Those who, each and every one In peacetime we would all condemn At the going down of the sun We do not remember them No we remember there instead The proud and the victorious The gallant and the glorious Dead So you can stand up proud today And you can wipe that tear away Because you know to tell the truth It doesn’t matter anyway ‘Cause I never did believe A single word you said When you asked me to believe In your glorious dead Those who picked the very teeth From the skulls of the grinning dead Who cared not for the men beneath But for the profit there instead Those who, each and every one In peacetime we would all condemn At the going down of the sun We do not remember them No we remember there instead The packaged and the sanitised The neat and the anaesthetised Dead So you can stand up proud today And you can wipe that tear away Because you know to tell the truth It makes no difference anyway ‘Cause I never did believe A single word you said When you asked me to believe In your glorious dead And those who were not taken in Who fought because they thought it right Who died as bravely as their kin But still preferred their poppies white Those who, each and every one In peacetime now you still condemn At the going down of the sun We do not remember them No we remember there instead The silent and obedient The mute and the convenient Dead So you can stand up proud today And you can wipe that tear away Because you know to tell the truth I’m not that bothered anyway ‘Cause I never did believe A single word you said When you asked me to believe In your glorious dead No I never did believe Not a single word you said Don’t ask me to believe In your glorious dead

credits

released January 1, 2012

PHILIP JEAYS Vocals, Guitar
DAVID HARROD Piano
WILLIAM GEORGE  Q Accordion
NICK PYNN Banjo
STEVE PRETTY Trumpet
MAGNUS DEARNESS Trombone
LORRAINE BOWEN Clarinet
SILVER FOX Harmonica
OSMAN AZBEK Solo Guitar
LADY OCTAVIA ROOT-NOTE Bass
DITTON PYE Drums

All songs written and arranged by Philip Jeays

Recorded at Ditton Pye Studios
Mastered by Colin Andrews

Booklet layout by John Peacock. Cover photo by Guilherme Zuhlke O’Connor.

Special thanks to John and Colin; Geoff Allnutt, Paul Jackson, Paul and Kerry Stapleton, Simon Goble, Robin Ince, Jezza Campbell and all the musicians.

A  Ditton Pye Production.

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