1. |
Madame
03:12
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They say the finest things in life
Are for the rich and well to do
But still poor as I am
I take one look at Madame
And I know it isn't true
For all she sees in painting
Is the daubs of losers at a loss
For her artistic compulsion
Stops at two coats of emulsion
And the skirting board in gloss
And me I do the cleaning
Around her priceless art but still
When I talk of Picasso
She talks of Dulux vinyl
But she loves days spent in galleries
To recharge her artistic batteries
As she brays her mindless flatteries
Over Renoirs and Modiglianis
And when she says oh how I love the Dutch
I say Madame these are not the Dutch as such
But more south and west of the continent
She says I know that's what I meant
They say the finest things in life
Are for the rich and well to do
But still poor as I am
I take one look at Madame
And I know it isn't true
For all she sees in music
Is to be seen where it's at
With her gaudy decoration
And Gaultier's latest creation
She looks like a trifle in a hat
And me I do the cooking
Italiano pleases her
But when I talk of Puccini
She talks of Lloyd Webber
But she loves nights at the opera
It must be good for her insomnia
As she snores through Kiri Te Kanawa
As she soars through La Cenerentola
And when she says oh how I love Verdi
I say Madame this is more Rossini
Although Verdi was also an Italian gent
She says I know that's what I meant
They say the finest things in life
Are for the rich and well to do
But still poor as I am
I take one look at Madame
And I know it isn't true
For all she sees in romance
Is a swelling bank account
For she has in her possession
Photos of an indiscretion
Between a Count and his mount
And me I do the washing
All her fine and lacy things
But when I talk of the Romantics
She talks of Jackie Collins
But she spends hours in contemplation
Of the beauty of her reflection
But me I've found the explanation
Her eyes and brain have no connection
And when she says oh how I'm beautiful
I say Madame you are more neanderthal
Too rich too stupid and too arrogant
She says I know that's what I meant
© Philip Jeays 1993
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2. |
Olivier
05:39
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Olivier
A wicked wind strikes up across the day
Over sodden fields that fade away
Into the grey of the dawn
Olivier
It's been pissing down since break of day
Spinning coins across the alleyway
Olivier
And everything looks a little grey today
We don't care
We stand out in the rain
We don't care
We are strange
We are from the north
Olivier
Open your eyes it could be wonderful
Open your eyes it will be wonderful
Just to see the falling rain
Once again
Olivier
So where the hell are you today
I've been waiting here since break of day
Olivier
And everything looks a little grey today
We don't care
We stand out in the rain
We don't care
We are strange
We are from the north
Olivier
Open your eyes it could be wonderful
Open your eyes it will be wonderful
Just to see the falling rain
Once again
Olivier
Open your eyes it could be wonderful
Open your eyes it will be wonderful
Just to see the falling rain
Once again
Olivier
I know you won't be here today
I know that you died yesterday
So Olivier
Let the thunder be your drums today
Let the wind and rain take you away
Death will keep you dry
So will I
Goodbye
Olivier
© Philip Jeays 1996
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3. |
The Laughing Song
04:29
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Mother drinks and mother smokes
She's been killing herself for years
Laughing at their awful jokes
Now when she laughs you can hear the tears
Ha ha ha....
Grandad shelters on the floor
Playing with his sticky buns
Come in but don't slam the door
Grandad can still hear the guns
Ha ha ha....
The au pair is a foreign girl
Whose hair is blonde and eyes are blue
Father likes to make her laugh
But she doesn't laugh like me and you
Ha ha ha...
But the only one who really laughs
Is the leader of the band
See him waiting in the wings
With the sickle and the sand
He laughs all the way
From Moscow to the Rio Grande
The Rio Grande
He watches as your bones grow brittle
He watches as little by little
Your mouths grow thick with spittle
To spit on a few simple dreams of your children
He watches as you grow old
He watches as the years unfold
He watches from the hall
He laughs at us all
Ha ha ha...
My uncle is a military man
Who holds a gun and rides a horse
He likes to be miserable when he can
But if he laughs he laughs in morse
Ha ha ha...
My sister's nearly seventeen
She's much too old to think of fun
She's practising to be a wife
So she's cut her laughs down to one
Ha
My Auntie starved her son to death
To better drive his demons out
She locked him underneath the stairs
Saying when he's cleansed God will let him out
Ha ha ha...
My brother spent six months in jail
That he might better find a job
He went in for a parking fine
He came out driving for the mob
Ha ha ha...
But the only one who really laughs
Is the leader of the band
See him waiting in the wings
With the sickle and the sand
He laughs all the way
From Moscow to the Rio Grande
The Rio Grande
He watches as your bones grow brittle
He watches as little by little
Your mouths grow thick with spittle
To spit on a few simple dreams of your children
He watches as you grow old
He watches as the years unfold
He watches from the hall
He laughs at us all
Ha ha ha...
© Philip Jeays 1989
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4. |
Cupid Is A Drunkard
02:58
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Here comes the groom
With his youth in full bloom
Going over the top
And though people see
Distant artillery
No-one dares say stop
And in the vestry
Drinking whisky
Cupid's feeling odd
For love should dress
In happiness
Not in the ties of God
Now Cupid is a drunkard
And it doesn't help his aim
When it comes to my lovers
But I know he's not to blame
For is it any wonder
When he sees the care men take
That Cupid is a drunkard
And women have to fake
Now here comes the bride
All fat and wide
Just like the old song says
She's armed to the teeth
With a ring and a wreath
And a bullet that says yes
And in the vestry
Drinking whisky
Cupid feels his age
For love should be
Wild and free
Not wedlocked in a cage
Now Cupid is a drunkard
And it doesn't help his aim
When it comes to my lovers
But I know he's not to blame
For is it any wonder
When he sees how women cheat
That Cupid is a drunkard
And men kerb crawl the streets
Now here comes the vicar
Bleating love is forever
With a smile ten tablets wide
And if he's contented
It's because he's invented
His own bit on the side
And in the vestry
Drinking whisky
Cupid's feeling sick
For lasting love
Is hard enough
Without religion's stick
Now Cupid is a drunkard
And it doesn't help his aim
When it comes to my lovers
But I know he's not to blame
For is it any wonder
When he sees love certified
That Cupid is a drunkard
And his arrows so often fly wide.
© Philip Jeays 1992
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5. |
Only This High
04:53
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I remember the taste of that silver spoon
That fed me and clothed me and kept me from harm
The fingers that wrapped me so tender and warm
In blankets of kindness lest I should fall
My days began in the light of the dawn
In the vastness of stillness that hung in the hall
When the sun's first rays seeped soft over all
To colour the gardens and silence the moon
I was only this high and so proud of my years
I counted my age in quarters and halves
I counted the cares of the world on one hand
And counted my own in the tinsel of dreams
I was only this high when the tide first came in
On the castles I'd built on the edge of the sand
When the sea first decayed the walls that I'd made
And murmured the truths of days yet unseen
And of years in between
I lived in a house so white and so high
Like a ship that had stopped just short of the sea
And I was just a passenger there
Waiting impatient for that journey to pass
I ran on the Downs with a breeze in my hair
And dreamt in the flowers and swam in the grass
And splashed in the shouts of the wind through the trees
And floated in fields that stared at the sky
I was only this high and I wanted to see
My oncoming years before they saw me
I wanted to have much more than to need
To fight like a king and like a soldier to bleed
I was only this high and my eyes were so young
They looked at the sun and saw rivers of gold
They looked at the rain and saw the tears of God
And they screwed up and cried when the wind was too cold
I was only this high when I first spoke a lie
When I played in the woods and watched a summertime die
When I learnt how to laugh and was taught not to cry
Though I still don't know why
And I was only this high when I first saw your face
When I first felt my world revolve in the arms
Of an eight year old girl when she smiled my name
When I knew that my life would never be the same
And I was only this high when I first burnt the wings
Of my angelic youth on a few simple sins
That Jesus forgave every sunday at ten
So that by twelve o'clock I could do them again
And I was only this high when I first felt the pain
Of a love that dissolves like snow in the rain
But still that lost love because it was not my own
Did not break my heart though it did break my home
I was only this high but this high was high enough to see
The curtain come down and the years give way
To the vagabond life that brings me here today
© Philip Jeays 1988
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6. |
Richenda
04:56
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Forgive me Richenda I'm horribly drunk
But you are the harbour where my ships have all sunk
Your cannons have left me all battered and bruised
Though I've give you all of the shots you have used
But the day isn't over there's time to forgive me
It's only four in the morning but your phone just keeps ringing
And I love you Richenda more than anything
Though you smile like Brutus at Caeser in spring
Come over Richenda there's some old friends to see
There's my packet of Gauloises and Tom Waits and me
My Gauloises are smoking and Tom he's playing a tune
And we've all been drinking since late afternoon
But the day isn't over there's time to forgive me
It's only five in the morning but your phone just keeps ringing
And I love you Richenda more than anything
Though you smile like Brutus at Caeser in spring
So it's over Richenda you've cut like a knife
But Gemini women been the curse of my life
Now I'm drowning the hole where my heart used to be
Now it's out on the outside and there's blood on my sleeve
But the day isn't over there's time to forgive me
It's only half five in the morning but your phone just keeps ringing
And I love you Richenda more than anything
Though you smile like Brutus at Caeser in spring
© Philip Jeays 1994
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