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lyrics

They say the finer things in life
Are for the rich and well to do
But still poor as I am
I take one look at Madame
And I know it isn’t true
For all she sees in painting
Is the daubs of losers at a loss
For her artistic compulsion
Stops at two coats of emulsion
And the skirting board in gloss

Yes and me, well, I do the cleaning
Around her priceless art but still
When I talk of Picasso
She talks of Dulux vinyl

But she loves days spent in galleries
To recharge her artistic batteries
As she brays her mindless flatteries
Over Renoirs and Modiglianis
And when she says ‘oh how I love the Dutch’
I say ‘Madame these are not the Dutch as such
But more south and west of the continent’
She says ‘I know that’s what I meant’

They say the finer things in life
Are for the rich and well to do
But still poor as I am
I take one look at Madame
And I know it isn’t true
For all she sees in music
Is to be seen where it’s at
With her gaudy decoration
And Gaultier’s latest creation
She looks like a trifle in a hat

Yes and me, well, I do the cooking
Italiano pleases her
But when I talk of Puccini
She talks of Lloyd Webber

But she loves nights at the opera
It must be good for her insomnia
As she snores through Kiri Te Kanawa
As she soars through La Cenerentola
And when she says ‘oh how I love Verdi’
I say ‘Madame this is more Rossini
Although Verdi was also an Italian gent’
She says ‘I know that’s what I meant’

They say the finer things in life
Are for the rich and well to do
But still poor as I am
I take one look at Madame
And I know it isn’t true
For all she sees in romance
Is a swelling bank account
For she has in her possession
Photos of an indiscretion
Between a Count and his mount

Yes and me, well, I do the washing
All her fine and lacy things
But when I talk of the Romantics
She talks of Jackie Collins

But she spends hours in contemplation
Of the beauty of her reflection
But me I've found the explanation
Her eyes and brain have no connection
When she says ‘oh how I'm beautiful’
I say ‘Madame you are more neanderthal
Too rich too stupid and too arrogant’
She says ‘I know that’s what I meant’

credits

from The Widest Walk Volume 1, released June 1, 2015

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Philip Jeays Bognor Regis, UK

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