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The Old White Bull

from My Own Way by Philip Jeays

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lyrics

THE OLD WHITE BULL

It’s Friday night and the boys are out
Down at the Old White Bull
We’re off the leash and loud and on the pull
Tim’s been married seven years
And now he’s got the itch
He prances off like Nureyev
But he hasn’t got the feet
And pretty soon he’s back
Sitting rejected in his seat
And so we raise our glasses
In a toast to his defeat
With that song we always sing, boys,
That song we always sing

They’re all whores, they’re all whores
Except for my mum and yours
They’re all whores, they’re all whores
From Thailand to the Azores
They’re all whores, they’re all whores
Without rhyme reason or cause
They’re all whores, they’re all whores
Except my mum and I’m not sure about yours...

It’s half past nine and still no luck
So I say I’ll have a go
Though it’s not my strong point as you know
I spot a little filly looking lonely at the bar...
I think I’ll just approach her
With a debonair hello
But I haven’t left my seat yet
And she already seems to know
She sends the barman over
With a note that just says ‘no’
Time to fill your lungs, boys,
Time to fill your lungs

They’re all whores, they’re all whores
Except for my mum and yours
They’re all whores, they’re all whores
From Thailand to the Azores
They’re all whores, they’re all whores
Without rhyme reason or cause
They’re all whores, they’re all whores
Except my mum and I’m not sure about yours...

So one by one we’re all shot down
Till there’s only one chance left
And our expectant eyes all turn to Geoff
A lesbian converter with the sales figures to match
We sit with baited breath
As he gives the room a scan
Then suddenly he’s off
And we know he’ll have a plan
Then he comes back triumphant but -
He’s come back with a man
Saying ‘you get it where you can boys
You get it where you can..

And they’re all whores, they’re all whores
Except for my dad and yours
They’re all whores, they’re all whores
From Thailand to the Azores
They’re all whores, they’re all whores
Without rhyme reason or cause
We’re all whores, we’re all whores
Except my dad - but why’s yours on all fours?

credits

from My Own Way, released January 1, 2012

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Philip Jeays Bognor Regis, UK

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