This Is The Age Of The Naked Emperors

from by Philip Jeays

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lyrics

THIS IS THE AGE OF THE NAKED EMPERORS

My ten-year-old nephew name of Thomas
Ironically left us with no doubt
In him the devil was upon us
And that that devil was devout
When he began to scream and shout
And streams of filth came pouring out

We tried to bribe him into silence
With threats of Santa's non-compliance
But that just deepened his defiance
He said 'Open your eyes
I know it's dad
You fucking twats'

This is the age of the naked emperors
The psychic conjurors
The Jungle and X Factor
This is the age of the aura therapist
Your devils are all cock now please get dressed
We're not impressed

And so to calm his disposition
And help take his mind off everything
We took him to an exhibition
Of those artists that are 'in'
Where people nod and stroke their chin
At those great artworks housed within

But as I gave an explanation
Of just what made an installation
He cut across my ostentation
He said 'Open your eyes
It's just a bed
You fucking twat'

This is the age of the naked emperors
The psychic conjurors
The Jungle and X Factor
This is the age of the aura therapist
We've all looked at your cock now please get dressed
We're not impressed

I said 'My songs will make me famous
I'll get rich and have you cured abroad'
He said my claims were quite outrageous
And that my evidence was flawed
My songs left everybody bored
And I was hated or ignored

I said 'No, fame will be the answer
It will bring me love and cash and laughter
And then I'll live happy ever after'
He said 'Open your eyes
It isn't real
You fucking twat'

This is the age of the naked emperors
The psychic conjurors
The Jungle and X Factor
This is the age of the aura therapist
We're voting off your cock now please get dressed
We're not impressed

So then we came to this decision
To place him in the hands of God
The vicar said an exorcism
Would soon put right the little sod
We gave the reverend the nod
'Don't spoil the child nor spare the rod'

But there before the congregation
As people prayed for his salvation
Young Tom cried out with indignation
He said 'Open your eyes
There's nothing there
You fucking twats'

This is the age of the naked emperors
The psychic conjurors
The Jungle and X Factor
This is the age of the aura therapist
Two thousand years of cock now please get dressed
We're not impressed

So finally we took him to a clinic
To see what the doctor could explain
She looked him over for a minute
Then she said 'You've come in vain
He isn't ill he's got a brain
And that's what's driving him insane'

And so, good people, in summation
Don't give your kids an education
Intelligence just breeds frustration
When you're living in a world
That's fucking full
Of fucking twats

This is the age of the naked emperors
The psychic conjurors
The Jungle and X Factor
This is the age of the aura therapist
Just put away your cocks and please get dressed
We're not impressed

credits

from Take The Slow Train, released April 18, 2016

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Philip Jeays England, UK

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