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Not The Man I Was

from London by Philip Jeays

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lyrics

NOT THE MAN I WAS

When I was young
And hard to hold
Then for my age
More than my bones
Through window panes
I dressed in dreams
All broken nails
And beauty queens

Oh, but I am not the man I was When I was made of glass
Brittle with certainty
My dreams would come to pass
Looking through my eyes
Then everything seemed near
But I am not the man I was when life was clear
The glass became more cloudy year on year
I am not the man I was 'fore I was here
No no no
I am not the man I was
When I was made of glass
My dreams and convictions
Shattered all too fast
Then I thought that love
Was all too simple but
I learned to make love crystal
First you must be cut

When I was young
And hard to hold
Then for my eyes
More than my reach
A spit of skin
I dressed in rage
My slip of faith
A flashing blade

Oh, but I am not the man I was
When I was made of steel
Sharpening my tongue
On the whetstone of my zeal
Marching off to fight
With my heart for only law
I am not the man I was before that war
When I thought I knew what I was fighting for
I am not the man I was when I was sure
No no no
I am not the man I was
When I was made of steel
Time took my time
And turned me on its wheel
Then stubborn as the tide
I never would give in
I thought my will was iron
It was only ever tin

When I was young
And hard to hold
Then for my bones
More than my age
Skin limestone white
I dressed in black
A stare from hell
And staring back

Oh, but I am not the man I was
When I was made of stone
Strong and tall and proud
Standing on my own
Then I looked upon
My gorgon fate with glee
But slowly time has chipped away at me
I am not that solid man I used to be
I am not the man I was when I was me
No no no
I am not the man I was
When I was made of stone
My words are weathered now
All mossed and overgrown
But then with my guitar
Standing up to preach
I thought I was a statue
I was just a pebble on the beach

And now I am this man
Who stands here all alone
A man, but a man no more
Of glass or steel or stone
And if I stand at all
Before you it's because
Sometimes I like to think
I'm still the man I was

credits

from London, released January 1, 2009

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Philip Jeays Bognor Regis, UK

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